The bond between mother and daughter is something unique. For me and my girls, the bond runs deep and strong. It’s like I have created two small besties. I’m not talking a ‘Weird Science’ set up, but since the moment I had them, I have given everything to make sure they are loved, cared for and that I bring a smile to their faces every chance I get. Having them in my (very) early twenties, we were a household full of girls for a very long time. Bringing the smiles was easy. It was fabulous, even though they were young, we would spend our afternoons cuddled up in our pink blanket dens, watching Disney movies and throwing glitter around like we were actual fairies. I wore wings a lot!
After meeting my husband and having our son, the girls had to readjust to having boys in our house of girls. With a new baby, we had fewer den building days, the glitter was put away and my attention shifted. The smiles were still there but I would be lying if I said that the change in dynamic was a breeze. There were plenty of bumps along the way. We endured through them all and looking back, all the bumps, that seemed like roadblocks at the time, are irrelevant now. I couldn’t imagine not having our chaotic little family unit. The girls are wonderful big sisters, and my husband is a fantastic dad to our beautiful blended family.
Despite the fact I couldn’t live without them, a new dynamic is still a juggling act. My son is the youngest and by far the most demanding of my children. With a ridiculous amount of energy, he has two settings. 1 and 11. There is no in-between. I’m proud of my daughters and their acceptance that mummy has to give attention to the Master of Mischief because he is younger and still learning. However, my mum guilt is given a little boost every time I have to split myself, meaning that the girls are left to play together (without me).
It is wonderful that they have each other, with only 16 months between them, they are more like friends than sisters (long may that continue). I do think it is important though, that I plan to give them uninterrupted ‘mummy time’. I usually aim to plan to do something together once a week. This is usually a little bit of cooking or baking, doing face masks, watching a movie, or heading out together for a walk, just the three of us.
Once every couple of months (budget allowing) I plan a girls day out. This is usually in the form of a shopping trip. We leave the lads at home, grab some lunch, browse through the shops and enjoy well-deserved girl time. I always budget to give each of them a bit of spending money which allows them to splurge on friendship bracelets and fluffy notepads, which they never wear or ever write in. However, this is a different story for a different time. Our retail therapy days are always fun and are a way in which we keep the bond between us strong.
Budgeting plays a large part in what we can do though. As a low-income family, I don’t always have the money to keep the kids flush with fluffy notepads. The juggle is a struggle.
When I started this blog page, I wanted to share with others, ideas and things that I do with what little money I have left after the bills are paid. Below is a list of ideas for dates with your daughters that won’t break the bank.
Who doesn’t love a good movie night? From big-name blockbusters to the straight to TV films they show on channel 5 in an afternoon. I adore films. Sharing flicks with my girls is such a special thing for me. Growing up, both my parents worked shifts, so we were never a ‘sit down together for dinner’ type family. Movies were our thing. Both my mum and dad would share their favourite films and directors with me. With my mum, it would be the chick flicks. Legally Blonde, You’ve Got Mail, Dirty Dancing, Sleepless in Seattle and the rest. When it was movie night with my dad, it would be the best action or cult classics with the likes of Jaws, The Lost Boys, The Usual Suspects, Die Hard and The Untouchables. With the latter still being a firm favourite today. I had stacks of VHS (yes, I’m now that old) and for the ones we didn’t own, we would have a weekly trip to Global Video! This was pre-Netflix DVD posting, which was pre-Netflix streaming.
I’ll bet some of you younger readers might not know that before Netflix was built into your Smart TV, they were a DVD postal service. You had to wait 3 days to get your chosen film, so think before you next complain about your 3 minute buffering time!
Movie night is a cheap and easy thing to do on a rainy afternoon. To some, sticking a film on is just ‘something to do’ but when you share a film from your own childhood it becomes so much more than that.
If you’re willing, you can also splash a little cash on some movie extras. I usually set myself a budget of £5. Whatever treats we do have, I put them onto one large platter (this negates the dreaded packet crinkling through the film).
Walking and Talking
This is a completely free activity that you can enjoy with your child from birth to any age. When my children were babies, I loved walking out with them in the pram. The fresh air and the sounds around them were like a knockout drug. They would sleep for hours after. As they got older, we enjoyed exploring the local woods armed with backpacks filled with water bottles and biscuits. Walking is a therapeutic tool that is great for clearing the mind and getting a bit of exercise into your routine. If I’m honest, it’s something I wish I did more often.
Taking a walk and spending some quality time with your daughter is a great way to bond. I recently went walking with my eldest daughter and we talked about everything, from her feelings about lockdown to what her favourite character on Once Upon A Time was. When we set off she seemed sad, like the weight of the world was on her shoulders, yet after walking, talking, laughing and breathing in some (smelly) country air, she skipped home like a completely different kid.
In our house, with three girls, pampering and makeovers are a regular occurrence. Places like Poundland, B&M and Home Bargains have some great (and cheap) makeup products. Most supermarkets also sell them (if you’re happy to pay a few quid extra). Hair, make-up, music and laughs are always a good combination. This kind of activity is great for mother-daughter bonding and special moments.
Trying out a new hairstyle with my girls or letting them do my make up is something that they always enjoy. It rarely costs us anything and always results in giggling. Usually, because I end up looking like the lovechild of an Estee Lauder saleswoman and Pennywise. Although they are getting better with age, I don’t think either of my girls has a future in the make up industry. Special effects, maybe, but I’d predict some serious Ofcom complaints if my two were allowed to do the makeup of the Good Morning Britain hosts.
Baking and Cooking
Baking is something that I love to do with or without the kids. In the interest of bonding though, it’s usually best to involve them. I have a range of ‘fake baking’ recipes listed on the site, however, there is something special about baking from scratch and sharing a recipe with your daughter. I remember my own mum teaching me how to make a cake from a recipe her mum (my nana) had given her.
Even if you’re not a confident or keen baker, you can pick up a pre-prepared cake and biscuit mixes from most supermarkets. They are usually very reasonably priced as well, so you don’t have to break the bank to share an afternoon of baking with your child.
It can be tricky for busy parents to allow for an afternoon of baking or certainly, baking from scratch. If using a pre-prepped mix is better for you then do that. Your child won’t care whether your cake comes from a generations-old recipe or a 99p supermarket mix. Cake is cake. The time you give them though, that is what they will remember.
Another excellent bonding activity for mothers and daughters is cooking. Sharing a recipe for your favourite food or teaching your daughter how to make a simple meal is a wonderful thing to do. I can remember teaching my daughter to make a basic Bolognese. She did everything from ingredients prep, to making the sauce and serving the whole thing up. She was so proud of herself and what she had made. It was a lovely afternoon that we shared. There is a range of easy and cheap to make dinner recipes that you can share with your children here. Click the link below.
Afternoon tea is something we have done a lot more of through lockdown. Boredom has been rife and I have found that presenting sandwiches and sausage rolls on a cake stand has become something that can brighten even the drizzliest of afternoons.
It’s never anything fancy. I have found that I can get everything I need for around £5. I usually make sandwiches from what I have in. This can include anything from ham and egg to jam or cucumber. I usually add a cake slice, a punnet of strawberries, and some crackers with cheese or buttered fruit scones.
It doesn’t have to be extravagant; you can spend as much or as little as you like. If you do decide to do afternoon tea with your daughter though, make it an event. Plan ahead, pop on a pretty frock, make your sandwiches, whether that be with a fancy filling or just a spread of jam. Sit down together with a bit of music playing and enjoy your afternoon together as if you were sat in the window of Betty’s.
Although all of the above-listed things are what I have done with my daughters as a way to make sure that not all my attention goes to my (more demanding) son. Do not think that these ideas are only for mothers and daughters. I would encourage you to enjoy all of these things with any of your children.
Until next time…