I recently wrote that I am taking part in the March 30 day writing challenge. 22 days in and I have completed *cough* one task, by writing a long list of reasons why I am supposedly amazeballs. Unsurprisingly, sticking to a deadline wasn’t on there.
While reading through the list of themes I have yet to complete, reflection really stuck out for me; mainly because it’s something I both love and hate to do.
I truly believe it is important to reflect on how far we’ve come in whatever journey we are on. Reflection helps us to keep focus and continue knowing we are so far from where we started. However, as someone who has suffered/suffers from anxiety at varying levels, reflecting back can often trigger feelings of worry and guilt about what I could have done better or differently in the past.
A wise man (my dad) once told me that we should only ever glance at the past, never stare.
These words blew my mind, and they are now words I live by.
In the spirit of reflection and avoiding hurling myself into a spiral of self-doubt, I have decided to use this post and theme to reflect on three things that have brought me happiness over the years.
First and foremost, having kids is top of the list. Is it corny? Yes. Do I care? No. While they have caused me great anxiety, guilt, and pain over the years (labour, in particular, stung like a bitch) they are without a doubt, my greatest joys. Not only do I burst with jubilation at their confidence and individuality (something that I never had at their age) I cherish the fact that they make me a better person. Giving birth to my first child a few months after my 20th birthday was possibly the scariest thing I’ve ever done. I was just a kid myself. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. Over the years though, my children have shaped my personality into the loving, caring, slightly bonkers woman sat writing this blog post. When I look at the married mother of 3 I am now, compared with the petrified 20-year-old single mum I started out as it is a journey I’m proud of.
Next up on my reflective list of joys through the years has to be music. There isn’t a single scenario or feeling that can’t be relived through music. Births, deaths, and everything in between. For me, memories are anchored to music. When my son was born, the theatre staff had the radio on, and Madonna’s ‘Holiday’ was blasting out. I remember the upbeat rhythm of the song calmed me. When we attended my auntie’s funeral last year, we exited the crematorium to Take That’s ‘Rule The World’ and I took comfort in knowing it was a song she loved. ‘Times Like These’ by the Foo Fighters takes me back to Leeds Fest which I attended for the day with my dad (the coolest dad in the world) just to see Dave Grohl and Taylor Hawkins playing live. It was magical, and something i’ll never forget.
Finally, a source of great joy and comfort to me has been my husband. I kissed a lot of frogs before I found a prince and I consider myself extremely lucky to have found a kind-hearted, fun and caring gentleman. He walked into my life when I was at a low point and has spent years building me back up with love, support, positivity, and encouragement. Make no mistake, he’s not perfect, nobody is. However, he deserves a huge shout out for everything he is and does, as a dad and a husband. I credit him for giving me the confidence to take the huge step towards my own dreams. With his support and encouragement, I returned to education and I’m now one year off getting my BA. The world is scary, life is tough but there is nobody I’d rather weather the storm with than him.
So, there we have it. A reflective look at the people and things that have brought me joy over the years. Do you have anything different? What brings you joy? How do you feel about reflecting on moments and parts of your life?
Let me know in the comments.
The theme of this post was set by the fabulous MyTalesFromTheCrib who you can find on Instagram. She has some amazing writing theme ideas. Check her out!
Life in our house is about to get less hectic as we move into the Half Term/Easter break. With no lessons or assignments due I am hoping to be able to work my way through more writing challenges and post more family and budget-friendly recipe ideas.
Keep checking back and stay safe wherever you are.
Until next time…